A pursuit of mistakes

The thin and thick, pretty and ugly, wise and foolish emotions clutter my mind to an extent where I get completely diverged from the central theme of what I wanted to write about. Well I have been meaning to write something but my willpower doesn’t share my enthusiasm and my words conceal as if they are being bribed by some forces I don’t know. Maybe it is my nocturnal regime over past few days or maybe it’s my muddled up thoughts pulling the trigger, well whatever it is today I am going to write an essay, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant and there you go.

There is a thin line between a life you dream of and mistakes you make; a perfectly blooming career and your excuses, a perfect relationship and your blurred perspective and so it goes on. But what would it be like if your life was perfect, if you had everything you ever dreamt of and it was all devoid of those little mistakes? It would be pretty boring and dull I guess. You see cosmos tends to follow the law of yin-yang equilibrium and it applies to our lives too for we are a part of this grand universe. The mistakes, the frustrations, the breakdowns; the darkness of life is just as important as the light of life, it harmonizes the essence of universe, it plays a pivotal role in shaping our existence and proffering it a meaning.

Only a hungry man knows the real value of food, a veteran knows the horrors of war, a lonely divorcee knows the requisite of a partner, an unemployed knows the worth of a job, a homeless knows the pain of streets; only mistakes can guide you to the truth, to your destiny. How will you know that the road is wrong when you haven’t committed the mistake of taking it in the first place?

But something else equally important to reflect upon is the fact that the darkness must never surpass the critical bend of balance otherwise the universe will fail and so will life. There is always an edge up to where one can commit mistakes, the eerie emotions and fallen thoughts will always tempt us to re-take the same wrong road. We get addicted to the dopamine, a meth for brain, and we commit same mistakes again and again for a bit more of that dopamine. This loop of mistakes is what I call Dastardly loop of devil, it constantly drains off your willpower (ability to resist something you are tempt to do and it is limited.) until you eventually succumb to the loop of errors. The worse is even more disgusting, just as the dopamine flow terminates and you are thrown out of the loop, a humungous surge of guilt takes over your brain. Then all you do is whine and blame yourself for the screwed up things you did, you stonewall everyone and rationalize the blames to everyone and even start to hate random person for no reason for whatsoever. To sum up, your emotions go berserk and you get no clue what the f**k is going on inside your head or outside of your head.

What to do then? Precautions? Physic?  Hell if I know. You wouldn’t believe how many times I have been screwed by that devil’s loop and god knows how much more are coming my way. So I’m actually here to partly complain and partly to warn you, I got no meds in my pocket. But you could try asking a friend of yours, that forlorn buddy you’ve been ignoring since a long time. Why not take some time off from the jibber jabber of this noisy world and reach to the silence of your soul, explore yourself because that is the only person who knows you better than yourself. And you better hurry up because we are not immortals and pretty soon time will start poking your head as if these thoughts are’nt enough. Life is not long enough to try every ordinary shit that is out there you know, it’s about searching what your soul demands and just fucking go for it. Now that doesn’t implies to the literally everything but you get the idea right?


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